I have a problem with the term ‘domestic abuse survivor.’
Victim blaming, shaming and stigma, where domestic violence is concerned, is dangerous. Sometimes people blame victims out of lack of knowledge about abuse and so one presumes they are invulnerable. Sadly, this is what is happening in society.
Watching a friend go through an unhealthy and abusive relationship can be scary and challenging. Whether the abuse in question is physical, emotional, economic, sexual, or verbal, you may be at a complete loss on the best way to help them. Sometimes the first instinct may be to “save them” from the relationship but that may not go well.
Coercive control is the first step in domestic violence. If we can identify it and stop it there, we can save lives.
With quarantine and social distancing during COVID-19, survivors of domestic violence face a new obstacle in receiving the care that they need.
If you know or suspect that a loved one is going through domestic violence, you might feel clueless about the best way to help. Simple actions such as reaching out and letting them know that you are there for them can provide tremendous relief and save a life. Here is a simple guideline on how to support them.
As yet another Domestic Violence Awareness Month came to a close, for all the progress we have made toward awareness, our culture still struggles with its view of a victim’s most daunting struggle – leaving the abusive relationship.
I am a survivor of domestic violence.
Ending a mentally and physically abusive relationship was the hardest thing I have ever done. Nearly 13 years later, the details of my relationship are still hard to share. I know I am lucky to have escaped. I’m thankful to be alive and that my life is free from abuse, control and the exhaustion that comes from living in fear.
I have a problem with the term ‘domestic abuse survivor’.
Bear with me on this. I’m saying this from the point of view of a survivor of domestic abuse. Most of my adult relationships have been abusive. I’ve been through physical, sexual, psychological and economical abuse so I tick the boxes.
I support all of the campaigns that help victims of domestic abuse regardless of gender, creed, colour or sexual orientation.
The year 2020 has been an incredibly difficult year, more so for victims and survivors of sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) in Nigeria who have had to deal with the impact of two pandemics; COVID-19 and SGBV.
In May, Uwa was brutally raped in a church in Benin, the gruesome attack led to her death. Barakat Bello was raped and killed in her home in June; and Grace Oshiagwu was raped and killed in Ibadan.