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Why I Have A Problem With The Term ‘Domestic Abuse Survivor’

I have a problem with the term ‘domestic abuse survivor’. Bear with me on this. I’m saying this from the point of view of a survivor of domestic abuse. Most of my adult relationships have been abusive. I’ve been through physical, sexual, psychological and economical abuse so I tick the boxes. I support all of the campaigns that help victims of domestic abuse regardless of gender, creed, colour or sexual orientation.

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COVID-19: Supporting SGBV Survivors During A Pandemic

The year 2020 has been an incredibly difficult year, more so for victims and survivors of sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) in Nigeria who have had to deal with the impact of two pandemics; COVID-19 and SGBV. In May, Uwa was brutally raped in a church in Benin, the gruesome attack led to her death. Barakat Bello was raped and killed in her home in June; and Grace Oshiagwu was raped and killed in Ibadan.

Freedom

17 years ago I got married for the second time. We were blessed with a warm, crisp and sunny Autumn day and were surrounded by family and friends in the small country house hotel we had exclusive use of for the event. Little did I know then what experiences that marriage would bring me. I’d been married before to a physically and sexually abusive man who had beat me up for the first time on our wedding night. I was adamant that my second marriage would be for life.

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How I Survived An Abusive Marriage And Turned My Life Around

When I was in the midst of my abusive relationship, I thought it was all my fault. Thats what I kept being told and thats what I believed. It took me the time to do the work on myself to understand that none of this was my fault. Once I started seeing things in a new perspective, it was a game changer.

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Approaches To Healing From Trauma

It may be impossible to assess the long-term toxic mental impact of the trauma resulting from COVID-19. It’s unprecedented and could have far reaching effects on people. There may not be enough and reliable data on previous high impact global traumatic incidences like the Spanish pandemic of 1918 or Ebola of 2014 -2016, that would inform how best to synthesize the impact of this latest trauma. We can only warn that all collaborative caution should be taken to mitigate its impact. Left unattended, any trauma could escalate, leaving untold misery in its wake.